This series of articles chronicles the lessons that I learnt or which were reinforced as my beloved wife, Sophany battled cancer, and then went home to be with the Lord in October, 2020. But these lessons can also be applied to your life, with whatever trials you may go through.
The title ‘Lessons from the Valley’ is taken from Psalm 23:4: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
Introduction:
We all go through difficult trials, circumstances and difficulties in our life. Even genuine Christians are not promised an easy ride in this life at all. How do you and I handle the inevitable and unwelcome trials that we go through? How do we make sense of it from a biblical point of view? How do we keep our head above water, when we may feel like the waves of difficulties are about to engulf us? In this series of articles, This series of articles chronicles the lessons that i learnt or which were reinforced as my beloved wife, Sophany battled cancer, and then went home to be with the Lord in October, 2020. But these lessons can also be applied to your life, with whatever trials you may go through.
Background:
It was late morning on January 20th, 2020. I was at the local indoor swimming pool. As I checked my phone, there was a text message from my wife Sophany, saying that the Oncologist (Cancer Specialist) wanted to urgently see both of us that afternoon. I immediately thought that this sounds pretty serious!! Our lives were about to change in a very dramatic way!!
Just to digress briefly to give you some background: Up till that fateful day in 2020, we had been very happily married for about 8.5 years.
How did we first meet? I had completed a Master of Divinity in 2009 at the Master’s Seminary in Los Angeles (on the campus of the Church where John MacArthur has been pastoring since 1969). The Church there has about 8000 people who attend, and it was my desire to be married by the time I finished my studies at the Seminary there. But, it wasn’t to be. It wasn’t through want of trying though lol. I returned to Melbourne, Australia towards the end of 2009, and it was about a year later that I was asked to Pastor a small Cambodian Church in Melbourne, where only about 30 people attended. That was where I met Sophany who was the Interpreter in the Church. Before I knew it, about 7 months later, we were married!! Overall we had a wonderful marriage. Sophany used to say that she was very happy and that we had a very good marriage. I certainly didn’t want to argue with her about that!! We used to talk about growing old together, and continuing to encourage one another in our walk with Jesus Christ. And from a few years ago, Lord willing, we were planning to move to near Cairns, Queensland in the future at some stage. But, all those plans came crashing down on that fateful day on January 20th, 2020.
This is a photo of when Sophany and I first met at a Church picnic on Melbourne Cup day - 1st Tuesday of November, 2010. Little did I realise at the time that she would be my wonderful wife, a mere 7 months later!! Btw after we were married, she later told me that when we first met, she thought I could die in the near future, as my health wasn't very good at the time!! But I was greatly blessed that she still married me, praise God!!
So returning to that day on January 20th, 2020 – we were on our way in the car to see the Oncologist, and I will never forget Sophany’s words: She casually, in a normal sort of manner, without much emotion at all, said, “Everyone has to die sometime.” As yet, we did not know at all what her diagnosis would be, but my beloved had already very calmly and peacefully accepted what may await us. As a Christian, the Lord had given her a supernatural peace in what she was evidently expecting to be a death sentence. About an hour later, we were sitting in the office of the Oncologist, where 2 other people were present as well. Compassionately as possible, he delivered the verdict that Sophany almost definitely (which was 100% confirmed about a week later) had Stage 4 terminal Lung Cancer (btw she has never smoked in her life). Again, Sophany remained very calm during all of this, which also no doubt helped me much in the situation. In the Lord’s perfect timing, we had previously booked to go away on a holiday to Palm Cove, leaving about a week later. As we were on our way home from the Oncologist, Sophany said that this may well be our last holiday together. With that, something of the reality hit me in the midst of the shock of her diagnosis, and I couldn’t help but cry as I was driving.
The big question is, what specifically was it that greatly helped Sophany and myself through last year, and is continuing to help me now in everyday life, without the woman I greatly loved? And what is it, that can greatly help and encourage you in the various trials that you go through in your life? Let me begin by detailing some of the lessons which greatly helped, and continue to help me now. And my prayer is that these lessons will be an encouragement and help to you in your life:
Lesson 1: We WILL go through trials:
As believers in Jesus Christ, we WILL still go through trials and difficulties of various sorts along the way. This is directly implied in Psalm 23:4: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..” There are also countless verses which directly say that believers WILL go through trials in this life. E.g. James 1:2: “Count it all joy, my brothers, WHEN YOU MEET TRIALS OF VARIOUS SORTS.” Note what this verse says: NOT “IF”, but “WHEN” you meet trials. And those trials will be of VARIOUS SORTS. As time goes on, we may encounter difficulties such as, financial, health, relationship difficulties, etc. This is really the first thing to come to terms with, that when we become a Christian, we will still encounter problems and trials in our life. And if anything, those difficulties may actually increase (cf. when we were an unbeliever)!! Why? Because the Bible says that the world will hate us because of our faith in Jesus Christ; that we may even get much opposition from close family and friends (e.g. 1 John 3:13; John 15:18-21; Matthew 10:34-36).
The prevalent idea in many circles that once we become a Christian that if we exercise enough faith, that all our difficulties and trials will disappear, is a major false belief. What’s called the ‘Prosperity gospel’ (prevalent in Charismatic circles) is a serious false gospel. It basically promises that believers (if they have enough faith) will be cured of sickness and disease, will prosper financially and God’s blessings will be poured out upon the person. These beliefs are very attractive to our natural thinking, which is why countless people have been deceived and taken captive to these unbiblical teachings. Job went through many difficulties in his life see book of Job); the apostle Paul had a “thorn in the flesh” which caused him to plead with the Lord to take it away. The Lord said no (2 Corinthians 12:1-10); Timothy had some sort of stomach ailment (1 Timothy 5:23); and the list goes on.
Conclusion:
Romans 5:3 says: “Not only that, but we rejoice in OUR SUFFERINGS..” As a believer, I have experienced many trials e.g. I have had major health difficulties – Crohn’s Disease (chronic bowel condition), where i have had 4 major operations as a Christian, and still have ongoing health problems to an extent; I have been through major financial difficulties at times along the way; etc. And no doubt the hardest trial I have been through, is seeing my dear wife Sophany (a devoted Christian) succumb to Lung Cancer last year in October. But, I am by no means unique – far from it!! Each of us has and will go through trials of various sorts along the way. And many of you reading this, may well have experienced (or experiencing now) greater difficulties than what I have faced.
But, to leave it at that, accepting that going through trials in this life (even as a believer) is ‘normal’, would potentially leave us in despair. BUT, biblically, we can obtain much comfort and hope in what we go through. Our trials are not meaningless or without purpose at all. The Lord is not a distant bystander who is impotent when it comes to what we experience. This is what we will begin to look at in more detail in the next post in this series.
2 Corinthians 1:3: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort.”
Very touching and encouraging Andrew! This simply reminds us that God is sovereign and He is in control of every detail in our life.
Thanks Tola! Yes it’s very comforting knowing that the Lord is sovereign over everything which happens in our life. This is something I will be covering in a future post in this series.
Thanks Tola! Yes it’s very comforting to know that the Lord is sovereign over everything which happens in our life! This is something I will cover more in a future post in this series.
Thank you pastor Andrew , it’s very inspiring , I can relate to your trials.
James 1 : 2 was one of the verses I got in Nigeria , after my dad had passed.
My brother in law had been diagnosed with bone cancer , and I had melanoma removed all at the same time , we went to start the orphanage , I lost my house and everything , I wondered how can I count it all Joy , I practiced singing praise , wiping tears from my face at the same time.
Now I look back at that time , I see the growth in my faith in Christ.
Give God all the glory.
This is very inspiring .
I will keep following your writing.
Thanks Lois! I know you have been through many very hard trials in your life. Praise God you have grown spiritually through everything. We can count it joy, in that the Lord is in control of our life, and working for our ultimate good (Romans 8:28), and for His glory!
Ps Andrew, that teaches me a lot. I aim to focus on God more. His “Transforming Grace” is sufficient for us. As a person who has faced a lot of losses in my own life, nothing gives me comfort like the Amazing Grace of God.
Amen Richard!